Romance isn’t simply sex-appeal.

True romance are the characteristics of Christ in a man flowing out toward the woman and the characteristics of Christ flowing out of the woman toward the man. Characteristics such as sacrifice, selflessness, submission, humility, attentiveness and respect. What gets you choked up in a good love story? Usually, it’s these ingredients and they are all characteristics of God and Jesus and how they romance (love) us. I understand and embrace the man/woman attraction and “chemistry” – it’s good, but romance isn’t sex-appeal.

Part of the reason there are so many marriage break-ups and empty marriages within the body of Christ is that one or the other or both people really don’t know, deep inside them, the romantic love of God for them. If this were so, they would be able, through Christ in them, to love one another out of an overflow of God’s love. Their hearts would motivated and animated with love for the other person because of what is going on inside them and not about “what’s in it for me”.

Jesus Christ and his Bride (The Church) is the original romance novel! The passages in scripture about men loving their wives as Christ loves the Church (selfless, sacrificial, courageous, humble), and wives respecting and honoring their husbands are very romantic, even irresistible (hmmm…sounds like Jesus). These are not meant to be arduous “tasks” that we’re just supposed to do because God says so. They ARE arduous tasks if we don’t know (heart, not head) the love of God. When we finally trust God’s love and embrace our masculinity and femininity we are more joyful than if we don’t because we are following God’s design.

Stop believing that idea of romance being simply sex-appeal and believe instead in the Romancer of your heart. When you allow God, through Jesus Christ, to romance you, you will be able to love and receive love, including masculine and feminine sexuality, in freedom. This is not to imply you won’t get hurt, or rejected, or marginalized, or at times humiliated. Jesus did. What the love of God will do is transform your life into a life of joy and freedom even while enduring the pain and wounds of life. For what is impossible for man, is possible with God.