Are you aching in your heart?
Have you lost at love? Been wounded by the arrows of rejection and abandonment, or neglect, or humiliation, or severe loss?
The pain sneaks up on you in a moment and overwhelms you in the gut, in the chest, in the soul. Maybe this time the pain is only for a brief period, an hour or two, or maybe it stays for days, or weeks, or months, or longer. Sadness and grief may give way to depression. It seems to own you. You cry out to God, to Jesus – and it seems there is no response. You feel completely alone in the pain, even with good friends around. You question your faith and wonder if you simply aren’t believing the truth. Maybe you question your salvation. What’s wrong with me? Maybe I’m so bad I’m not lovable – I’m bad fruit. Why can’t I get over this?
Pain and loss, guilt and shame, fear and doubt all join in a dark and chaotic storm that blasts you into a cave of blackness. You can’t see light, you can’t get out. You are lost in the darkness.
You’re not made for this. None of us are. Don’t try to fight your way out of it. There isn’t a way out. There is only a way through. The grief, the pain, the loss, the fear, the doubt, the shame, the guilt, the loneliness, the anger, the humiliation, are stepping stones to the Door.
Kneel and cry at the Door.
Knock at the Door.
Wait at the Door.
Don’t think about the way out.
Stay at the Door.
When you feel bitterness, forgive and bless. When you feel vengeful, ask for mercy. When you feel conviction, confess. When you feel guilt and shame, trust grace.
Then, wait at the Door.
The Door leads to life and wholeness and joy. The stepping stones take you to the Door. Don’t purposely get off the path to avoid the stepping stones; it will be futile. There are other doors, but only one Door. Let the stepping stones have their part in your journey. Surrender at the Door.
When you’re tempted to impurity, ask for mercy. When your heart condemns, ask for mercy. When your thoughts are cynical, ask for mercy.
Then, wait at the Door.
When you feel alone, lean on the Door.
When your heart aches, cry at the Door.
When your gut is in knots, wail on the Door.
Then, wait at the Door.
The Door will guard your heart and mind.
The Door will draw you.
The Door will be your Way into wholeness and joy and abundant life.
The Door is the Way and the Truth and the Life.
The Door knows the Way. The Door knows your way.
The Door sees you in the darkness.
The Door is the Light.
Wait with the Door.
